PERSONALITY DEVLOPMENT NOV 19

CONFIDENCE BUILDING

Key Concepts
1. Confidence
a. Belief in oneself, as the greatest asset
b. Crucial to a happy, fulfilling and successful life
c. Influences your relationships and activities

2. Formula for building self-confidence
a. Develop self-awareness
i. Know yourself
ii. Acknowledge aspects you wish to change
iii. Understand what stops you from being confident
b. apply I-T-I-A Formula
i. Assert your INTENTION
ii. Change your THINKING
iii. Use your IMAGINATION
iv. ACT as if you are already confident.

3. Self-awareness
a. Three core feelings and beliefs: Self-worth, competence and belonging
b. Your goal: to appear confident both outside and inside

4. Motivation
a. One should be motivated to be confident, in order to surpass the time, patience and effort building confidence usually takes.
b. Reasons of motivation
i. A need or a want
ii. “Pleasure” and “Pain”
iii. Hopes and Expectations
c. Best way to be motivated: set yourself some worthy goals, find plenty of reasons why you want to accomplish the, and keep in mind the consequences of failure

5. Way of Thinking
a. Humans can intentionally choose to think.
b. What you think can manifest in what your actions.
c. When you imagine yourself as a good, capable, confident person, it becomes easier to think and behave like one.
d. Difference of belief and attitude
i. Belief – a thought or mental image we accept as true
ii. Attitude – what you put out into the world through your words and actions.

6. The Four Step Method in building self-confidence
a. Be mindful.
i. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling.
ii. Be aware of how you respond to people and events.
b. Stop disempowering thoughts.
i. If your live your life by ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’, you’re probably not living in the real world. You have to deal with things as they are, not how you think they should be.
ii. Avoid black and white thinking.
iii. Take a risk in confronting your fears
c. Replace them with empowering thoughts.
i. Affirm yourself.
ii. Change weaknesses into strengths.
iii. Focus on your potential, not your limitations and concentrate on what you do well.
d. Keep going until it becomes automatic.

7. Confident body language
a. Division of information
i. 7% language/words we use
ii. 38% how we speak = quality of voice, accent, voice projection, emphasis, expression, pace, volume, pitch, etc.
iii. 55% body language = posture, position, eye contact, facial expression, head and body movements, gestures, touch, etc.
b. Proper Posture = hold your head up, back straight, shoulders back
c. Hand and arm movements
i. Use hands for emphasis
ii. Keep hand movements smooth and flowing
iii. Do not wrap/fold your arms around yourself
iv. Do not place your hands in pockets.
v. Do not tap on surfaces with fingers or back of your hand
vi. Do not fidget, scratch or wring your hands
vii. Do not touch your face or neck. This shows discomfort or embarrassment
d. Eyes are expressive = look straight to the eye
e. Breathe calmly.
f. Make better use of your personal space. More room you appear to occupy, the more confident and important you appear.

Exercises
A. Self-awareness Part1
a. List down your Strengths, Weaknesses, and Ways for Improvement
b. Then share your paper with a partner and put your comments
c. Return the paper to the owner and ask yourself: Am I affected by what others think of me?

B. Self-awareness Part2
a. Facilitator should have M&M chocolate with him/her.
b. The facilitator will ask everyone to get a partner.
c. Then, all must pick three different colors of M&Ms.
d. Afterwards, the facilitator will ask each one to share something depending on the color of the M&M they have.
e. 2 minutes is allotted for each color.
f. Suggested color correspondence:
i. Blue – Best and worst physical trait. Why?
ii. Red – Emotional or Logical?
iii. Black – Social skills? Relationships? Most embarrassing moment? Proudest?
iv. Green – Intelligence? Where are you good at?
v. Yellow – Goal to achieve in 5 to 10 years?
vi. Orange – Mirror in front of you. What do you say?
vii. Purple – Worst phobia/fear?
viii. Brown – A person you imagine to be with? Why?

C. Confident Body Language Part 1: Situationers
a. The class will form 6 groups.
b. Each group will be given a situation wherein their confidence will be put to the test.
c. In every round, a group will step out of the room while the facilitator will ask volunteers from the remaining groups to act as part of their situation.
i. Round 1: during a private function, the group is introduced and asked to give a speech
(Note: volunteers will act as the ones who will introduce the group and ask them to give a speech)
ii. Round 2: during a workshop, participants are getting bored.
(Note: volunteers are the bored participants. How should the group react to this?)
iii. Round 3: during a presentation, something goes wrong like a power interruption or computer does not operate properly.
(Note: volunteers are the listeners. They will pretend something goes wrong during the presentation)
iv. Round 4: during a challenge, contestants are asked to face their fears, in exchange of helping other people.
(Note: volunteers are the hosts in the challenge.)
v. Round 5: during a performance, someone gets her period.
(Note: volunteers will act as the audience who notices someone has her period.)
vi. Round 6: they will meet a VIP
(Note: volunteers are the VIPs)
d. The group will not know their situation until they are called. The facilitator will just inform the group about the setting of the situation, but will not tell them what to expect.
e. As soon as the group enters the room, the volunteers will act out the ‘twist’ or the problem in the situation. The group should respond to these unexpected events with confidence.
f. In each round, the facilitator will ask the audience to comment on how the group handled the situation.

D. Confident Body Language Part 2: Gibberish
a. Objective of this activity: to make them realize that words are not the only way to express oneself
b. Participants are asked to pick any object they will market and sell.
c. There will be three rounds
i. First round: each participant will be asked to stay in front and in 1 minute, he/she should sell his/her object to the audience. (Be as creative as possible. For example, a pen can turn into a rocket ship)
ii. Second round: each participant will be asked to sit on a chair, still in front of the audience. WITHOUT WORDS, he/she should sell his/her object to the audience.
iii. Third round: each participant is seated on a chair, in front of the audience and is asked to sell his/her object WITHOUT WORDS and WITHOUT MOVING HIS/HER HANDS and FEET. He/She can only use his/her face in convincing people to buy his/her object.

E. Way of Thinking/Motivation (Note: Provide blindfolds)
a. Blindfolded participants will be asked to act out what the facilitator tells them to do.
b. The objective of this exercise is to let the participants realize that confidence does not come from external factors, but radiates from themselves.
c. The blindfold hides them from external factors and let them be themselves.

Assessment
A. Processing
1. How were the activities? Most challenging? Why?
2. First step of building confidence is self-awareness.
3. Words limit us in communicating with others. We can be CREATIVE in relating to other people.
4. Tips in building self-confidence
a. Have a notebook where you can record your progress.
i. Note down: goals, hindrances, encouraging thoughts
ii. Think of yourself as a confident person. Describe it.
b. Accept the responsibility of being confident.
i. You have to power to be confident, IF YOU WANT TO.
c. Commit yourself to behaving more confidently
i. Pretend you’re confident, even if you’re not
ii. Examples: calm your breath, stand upright, look people in the eye and speak with a clear unwavering tone.
d. Stop putting yourself down.
i. Forgive, forget and be free.
ii. The past is past.
e. Accept yourself and make the best of yourself by:
i. Becoming more informed.
ii. Acquiring new skills
iii. Changing unwanted habits
iv. Handling relationships and problems more effectively.

B. Culminating Activity: Beauty Pageant
A. Students will be asked to step outside until they are called.
B. Five students per batch will enter and line up in front of the judges (3 facilitators with prepared questions)
C. Each student must introduce one’s self before picking a question from the judges (the student can invent his/her name, his/her country, his/her saying)
D. After each batch, the judges will state their comments on how the students carried themselves and how they used their body, voice and mind in answering.